In Search of the Great Aussie Meat Pie

Perth, Australia -- Day 3

When Englishmen go out to dine
Roast beef their staple dish
The Russians all eat caviar
And Eskimos chew fish;
The French, they say, are fond of frogs;
The Yanks - Kentucky fries;
But dinkum Aussies, one and all;
Shout: 'Give us hot meat pies'
Yes dinkum Aussies, one and all
Shout: 'Give us hot meat pies'

In search of one of my childhood memories I went -- to tuck into a meat pie. That great Australian tucker found nowhere else in the world. Like vegemite, the meat pie is a sacred cow in Australia (except we eat them). Everyone loves them. Everyone misses them when they travel. And just as every Australian home contains a jar of vegemite, so too you can always get a pie at the local servo (local gas station) or bakery or at the footie. And don't they make a bloody great feed. Usually downed with your favorite amber there is nothing more satisfying than getting stuck into a couple of chunky meat pies for lunch.

That was how I thought about meat pies until today. Off to the local bakery I tootled in search of my comfort food. Standing in front of the counter I encountered not the three types of meat pies that I was used to -- chicken, steak and kidney, and meat -- but a dozen. The world of meat pies had upped its culinary styles since my childhood but not its looks -- Chili Steak, Steak and Cheese, Vegie, Chicken and Vegie, Steak & Kidney, Steak & Onion, Steak & Mushrooom, Pepper Steak. And the list goes on. I chose the original meat pie. Slathered it with tomato sauce (ketchup) as is traditional and tucked in.

Yummmm..... uummm.... hhhmm.

The humble meat pie is as Australian as it gets. While Americans love their hamburgers, Australians love their meat pies and sausage rolls more. Aussies are the world's biggest consumer of meat pies with over 250 million eaten each year. The traditional Aussie meat pie is about 15cm in diameter, just large enough to hold in one hand and covered in tomato sauce. The pastry is usually shortcrust (heavy enough so it doesn't fall apart in your hands), and the filling is beef or chicken with enough thick gravy inside to stick it all together.




While I was trying to recall why I loved and craved these culinary delights, I was also trying to figure out what wine (usually one drinks beer) would go with this to help it go down. I am worried. Am I less of an Aussie now as I find myself looking down at mostly thickened gravy with very little meat and the heavy pastry and have no desire to finish it? Apparently only 25% of the pie has to be meat and this can be fudged. Fudged????!! Do I want to know. And the definition of meat includes – apart from cattle — buffalo, camel, deer, goat, hare, pig, poultry, rabbit or sheep (as long as they’re not slaughtered in the wild). Nice!!!

6hrs later I am still trying to digest the pie from lunch. Maybe this aussie will try another meat pie in another 20yrs!!! Maybe....

Wealth of Aussie Words

I lived in Australia for 14 years then moved to the US where I have resided for 16 years. I've always been highly amused by the fact that I am referred to as a "resident alien". But this blog is now about coming back to Australia and noticing those aussie words that are unique to Australia and that I don't use anymore, have forgotton, or are new.

• Nuff nuff -- means idiot. I believe it derived from people having fluff in the head and ended up as nuff nluff. In the US, the typical word used by cops to refer to perpetrators is "perps", the aussie cops refer to them as "nuff nuffs." True words -- my sister is a cop.
• Nob or nob head -- means idiot. I am beginning to think that there are lots of words that mean idiot in the aussie language. Perhaps in all languages!!
• Fair dinkum -- means true, real, genuine. This was used by the Qantas flight attendant, on the 14 hr flight from LA to Brisbane, when he asked if he could remove the seat next to me. I looked up at him inquisitively and said, "Really." He replied "Fair dinkum. I need the seat as someone has soiled his." I was agog. How does someone soil their bloody flotation device?
• Mince -- ground. I went to a butcher's store to ask for ground lamb. He looked at me as though I was beamed down from a Star Trek mothership. He picked up a piece of lamb and said, "This, but cut up." I looked at him with one eyebrow raised, pointed to minced (ground) beef and said, "No, like that." "Ah", he said, "minced lamb." Words!!
• Maggotted -- shitfaced, hammered. Apparently this is the great Aussie pasttime -- to get drunk to oblivion. Australians have now past the Germans in the amount of alcohol consumed per capita. "You beaut!!!"
• Beaut, you beaut, you beauty -- Good stuff. If you're watching the footy (fooball) and there is a good kick, one will yell, "You beauty!" Or, "That's beaut, mate."
• Too right -- OK, in agreement with someone.

I will add more words as my hobbit ears pick up words on my meanderings of the locals.

Aussie's Rule

When it comes to flying I have to say that Aussies do rule. Getting to Australia is not an easy undertaking. Well getting to the east coast is relatively simple, but getting to Perth (look it up if you don't know where it is), on the west coast is quite the ordeal.
It was a Sunday when I decided that I needed to go home for some soul healing (another blog). Qantas is my ONLY personal choice to fly the distance from LA to Perth. I have flown other American airlines over the years and no way would I fly any other airline other than Qantas to Australia. Sunday I made up my mind to fly out, Friday was the departure date. Makes my head spin just thinking about it.
Not only was there work to deal with but my house has been up for sale in this friggin' awful market for 8 months and would you believe it we got an offer. Sheesh. How's that for serendipity!!! And then there was packing. A girl has to pack just right. OK, overpack just right. Now that I am here, I packed just wrong. It's bloody warm not autumnal and cold!!!
Anyway, back to the topic at hand.
My wonderful girlfriend arrrives Friday morning to give me a ride to the airport. She actually changed her schedule to do so. I love my friend. The only thing that I am certain of is that I have my itinerary and my passport. The week has been that crazy. I check-in. I pass three TSA people who are supposed to look at your passport and make sure that you have a boarding pass and I get right to the security machine when I realize that I do not have a boarding pass. The check-in person had given me the sleeve but had not put in the boarding passes. So I had to retrace my steps to the check-in counter to get my boarding passes reprinted. So much for security and processes. Boredom overrides process at some stage I guess.
Cincinnati is the layover on my way to LAX. No big deal until we are delayed on the tarmac due to an engine that won't start. Some people want to hear the truth about why there is a delay, but when the pilot explains something like "We are going to bleed something thru from one engine to the other engine to create enough pressure that it will start." I don't really want to know. If I am to go down mid-flight I don't really need to know that it was because of some trick they used to jump-start the bloody engine. I got a good chuckle out of that.
I have a 4 hour layover in LAX. So I decide to hang out at the only bar. I have no idea if this is typical or not. Single white female sitting at bar, computer up, obviously not interested in talking with anyone having a quiet vodka and tonic. Just chillin'. Next thing two french guys start a conversation with me. Their english is better than my french but we have silly conversations, in french and english. Now I am all about having silly conversations with strangers. You learn about different people and cultures. It's fascinating. And I get a good laugh. For example, they want to me change flights and go with them to France. JK all the way, right. Apparently not. Ummmmm. NOT. So Pascale and Dominic take photos, don't know why, and fly off to their world. Then Nick joins me. Again, computer up, minding my own business. Who needs to be online dating!!!! Just sit at airport bars. (lol)
This time it is me who has to fly off to my destination.
I think that I fall asleep before take off. This year has been a killer year. I am just glad to have 14 hrs ahead of me where I can't get emails, the phone cannot ring, and there is nothing I can do but read, sleep, do nothing. So I do.
Now I get to the point about why Aussie's rule.
The flight leaving LAX is late, and then during the night while I am dreaming of things that I won't remember, the plane has to go around a number of storms. The staff is funny, the food is great. Yes, the Aussie airline actually feeds you (international and domestic flights). We are late getting in to Brisbane (pronounced Brisbin for you Americans). This means I only have 1 hr to clear customs, grab my luggage, go through luggage security which is very tight in Australia, check-in luggage for domestic flight and get to my flight. Can it be done?
I let one the assistants at the customs area know that I have a connecting flight at 8am. He immediately takes me to the front. I fly thru customs. How easy was that?
Then the painful part. Watching each and every piece of luggage on that conveyor belt. Did it make it or not? And you meet the nicest people in the strangest places. A guy who was in the exact same predicament as I was, going to Perth, was also wondering if he was going to make it. He was telling me that his 4 kids were excited to see him and that he hoped he didn't miss the connecting flight because the next one was in 10hrs. Crap!!! That was not good news. His luggage came and he was willing to wait for mine to arrive so that he could help me get to the flight. You know some people are just NICE. I told him to go as who knew when and if my luggage would arrive.
Finally, 7:45 I get my luggage. The line up to check whether or not you are bringing in anything illegal was long. I told one of the attendants that I had a connecting flight and she that I wouldn't make it. Undeterred, I went over to another attendant. Same story, same response. Not ready to give up I approached another person and he whisked me off to the security place, checked my customs declaration and I was thru. Running to the Qantas counter to check-in my bags to Perth it is now 7:50. Boarding time is 8:00. At the Qantas counter I tell another attendant my story and they rush me to the front. In 2 mins I have my boarding pass and am on my way to the transit train. There are 2 of us now in the same boat. So we all run for the train and miss it. Another will be by in 15 mins. You have got to be kidding!! So we stand around chatting enjoying the warmth. What else can you do? One is from British Columia, the other from Newfoundland. They both have family in Perth. 8:05, the train finally arrives and we get to the domestic terminal where again we are all rushed to the front; we rush thru security. As we all run down the terminal towards out gate, I see a flashing sign, FLT CLOSED. But I still see people boarding. I am the last to board.
As I sit in my seat, out of breath, I think of all those Australian attendants who rushed me to the front and made it possible to make my flight home. They were incredibly nice and pleasant. From the customs people, to the security people, to the check-in people, to the flight attendants on Qantas. After 35 hrs of travel it was very much appreciated and will be remembered. I hate to compare my similar experiences traveling back from overseas to the US, but I do. And the US sucks with customer care. Aussie's rule!!!