It has been brought to my attention lately that it may not be possible for men to be friends with women without wanting to screw them. This is an emotional topic for me. It saddens me to think that I cannot trust men because all they are thinking about is how to manipulate a situation to bed someone. Is the world so basic and shallow? How can it be possible? How can men possibly want to have to have sex with any woman that they are friends with? Don't they have respect for women? Themselves? Don't they have other things to think about? Are they always ruled by that "other". Sheesh. So I have been gathering data in order to clarify this question. I have been asking everyone that I meet what their thoughts are.
My mother's response was "How immature!! Only a boy would think that way. I hope that you are not dating anyone who thinks like that."
"Ummmmmm, no, not dating, Mum," I said quickly. I wasn't lying to her, really I wasn't. Technically I was being truthful.
Then I asked a close male friend and he has many women friends, including me, that he doesn't think of in any sexual way. Phew!!! And no, he is not gay.
I took a poll in a bike shop with the staff. Off course the data was skewed because I was a potential customer!! They were flirting as they are supposed to do to get a sale so they agreed to the theory but I will put that in the outlier section as dirty data.
I asked my female friends and they agree that they have male friends who couldn't possibly think about them sexually. In fact they become quite upset to think of the possibility. The friendship is so important and there is a level of trust that is tampered with if the sex boundary is crossed.
A friend's husband agreed with the theory. He believed that men couldn't be friends without wanting to have sex. His wife was not happy. We are both baffled by this belief. But then maybe my friend's husband is all talk because a funny thing happened at lunch. I was sitting having lunch with a male friend when my friend and her husband happened to come into the restaurant. My friend and I were close to the end of our lunch so we chatted with them for a while and then we left. A few hours later I caught up with her and she told me that she told her husband, "That guy is trying to bed her." Her husband replied, "He can't do that, he's married." We both laughed. Perhaps this theory has holes in it!!!
If I thought that I could not have a relationship with men without wanting to have sex with them I would feel I was stuck in traffic. I could not relax. I would feel out of control. I would always be wanting to please, always be tuned up, always be trying to be something that I am not, always wanting to look perfect. I would be exhausted. I prefer to be picky in who I am attracted to and to give that person all my attention and to develop a kaleidascope of wonderful friends.
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After taking several days to ruminate on your post, I have only one response but must confess to a primordial uncertainty as to the wording or exact phraseology to employ. Nevertheless, blind and intrepid I proceed into the jaws of opinionated debate so hear goes -all I can say is "Huh?" Perhaps this question provides those untrusting naysayers the smoking gun they need to unequivocally prove that not only are all men (particularly married ones) pigs, they're clueless as well. OK, I admit to frequent bouts of cluelessness but I rankle at the insidious nature of condemnation without precedent- setting provocation. Why can't a married person and a single person be just friends? Where is the debate about people who are marriedd but not to each other being friends? Does this mean that the time we spent at your house when you invited me over for a beer after an evening spent together over hors d'oeuvres and drinks at RT's was totally meaningless - just a pity invite? What about the erotic doorbell adventure we shared or the tender moment of learning you experienced at the hot water heater? All of it for naught? That evening proved nothing to you about married men? Ohhhhh, the pain, the pain! I feel so used and misunderstood. (I'll leave it to you to explain this to your mother, friends, and occasional bike shop staff who you have deemed more informative than I on the subject. LMAO) People should be friends with people without regard to race, color, creed, or marital status. Marriage isn't a living death sentence or a license to resign from humanity. Sure, it's something to be honored and respected but it was never intended to get in the way of living life and interacting with - and enjoying - other human beings. Egads, I think I just agreed with your mom!!! Does this mean we're through? ROTFLMAOF
Ah Dennis, Those tender moments were for naught. I was remiss in not soliciting your opinion on this topic before blasting it. Now I am to pay for it by explaining to your wife about erotic doorbells; hot, hot water heaters; firey filters. My friends are LTAO. Hope your wife is????!!! ;o) I did try to explain it to her the other night. Not sure she was listening. LOL.... You, my knight of RT, are still my friend!!! My mom loves you!! rotfl
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