Awesome Inspiration

This blog is dedicated to those people who inspire me, especially Cindy.

A funny thing happened while in Cindy's office. As is typical of most mornings, I popped into her office to talk about what was happening in our lives. The day before a relationship I had enjoyed and which had grown slowly over time had changed direction. Cindy had had her car broken into while running in a park on the weekend. We got to talking about running. She runs a lot. She even has a trainer. Wow! I have always been impressed because running makes me gag. I have a lot of fear around running because of all the injuries that I have seen.

She told me about the training session that she'd had with her trainer that morning. Sounded painful to me. Lots of pain. We talked a bit more about my relationship issues and I mentioned that I really should start swimming. You know, exercise makes one feel better. Right? Then she mentioned that I should do a triathlon. Huh? How did we go from ended relationship, to swimming, to a friggin' triathlon. She got all excited and started talking about an upcoming triathlon that is small and doable for a novice -- the Ramblin Rose triathlon. She pulled up the information on the web and started telling me that it is only a 250 yard pool swim, a 9 mile bike ride, and a 2 mile run. Huh! The sound of waves are crashing in my ears as anxiety sets in. She merrily talked about getting a coach, buying equipment, how to start running. Meanwhile I am hyperventillating. Where is that paper bag someone? 2 mile run? Bike ride? 2 mile run? bike? run? I don't do exercise.

I agree to do it. Did those words actually come out of mouth? I am screeching in my mind, "I can't this, really, I can't do this. Isn't anybody listening to me." Well off course not, you idiot, it is a silent scream. Cindy and I go out to lunch and we discuss all sorts of logistics and then we end up shopping for a new swim suit and some other athletic things. This is only the beginning. I am filled with fear, but I am going through the motions.

That evening, filled with a mixture of fear and courage, I swim. I love the water, until I start swimming. I mean swimming. Not just paddling. OK, now the water is heavy, I am heavy. I get the giggles. I do 4 laps. What's that? 100 yards. I am out of breath, legs are aching. Oh boy!! When is that triathlon? So I decide to do a few slow laps, breaststroke style, just for grins. After all I just got in the water. I can't get out now, can I? Can I? I thought about doing a lap or two doggy paddle, but the ego was not into that. A few laps later I am thinking "I am going to kill Cindy". But I remembered her excitement, her motivation, her pure joy in helping me. Cindy has no agenda except to help people become empowered. I feel honored to have such a friend.

So I do a flip and start down the lane again, this time like a pro doing freestyle. Then I decide to float on my back and do some kick exercises. This type of kicking burns the quads. And while I was into the burn I missed the cue of the flags as I glided under them and kapow, I hit my head on the wall.

Now, wasn't that a clear message from the universe -- I need to be present. I have been dreaming and being, now I need to find a balance and do. And to do this I need to get back in my body. I need to be present to everything around me, not just what is inside me.

Thank you Cindy for reminding me that I have the freedom and the power to try anything. I look forward to running with you.