Power of the Badge

Perth -- Day before I Return to the US

Today I visited another old friend of mine. I met her when I was 16yrs old. She is an amazing woman, and has been a huge influence in my life. But that is a story to be shared over a great bottle of wine.

Driving back along the coastal road, my sister, the policewoman, was doing her usual thing. OK, some background on my sister. She entered the police force May 15, 2006. At first she was on general duty which is frontline policing, such burglaries, assaults, domestic violence, drug issues, and so on. They are the usually the first respondents to a call. The stories she has told. No wonder there are so many "reality" police shows on TV. There are a lot of stupid nuff nuffs out there. Every police person has to spend 2 years in the country; she only spent 3 months in Newman before being transferred back to Perth. Another story in itself.

She was transferred to the Crash Investigations unit. She is now a Crash Inquiry officer. In addition to traffic enforcement, she investigates hit and runs that involve injury or accidents that are considered major damage (over $7000.00).

Driving with her is like driving with a traffic violation handbook. Without turning her head she seems to know what every driver is doing wrong. I now have whiplash as I keep spinning my head around saying, "Where? Which car? That one? What?"

They call traffic cops "road nazis." Hmmmmm, driving with her I can see why -- lol. My sister had promised me a ride in the patrol car. I was so excited. To get to push the "Yelp" button. Yip the button that goes "whoop whoop" is actually labeled "Yelp" (how's that for usability). Unfortunately, that experience did not eventuate, so we practice our own version of pressing the yelp button whenever we see someone doing something stupid, like illegal U turns, speeding, driving without lights at night. This version entails yelling "whoop whoop" at any nuff nuff and then laughing. Juvenile???!!! Absolutely.

Back to the drive along the coast. We are talking, laughing, and yelling "whoop whoop" every now again, when my sister looks in her rear vision mirror and becomes very still. With gritted teeth, she says, "Can you believe that? Driving with an expired registration and on the mobile. And he's not even paying attention to the road." She was pissed. I went very quiet. In WA, it is against the law to be on the mobile whilst driving.

She pulls out her badge from the middle console and twisting her hand behind her she holds it up to the back window. The guy in the car is still not looking out of the front car window. How do you drive and not look out of the front? Where is that "yelp" button? My sister is now getting more pissed. She says under her breath, "Put down the bloody phone you nuff nuf," and waves her badge more wildly. Now she is getting more agitated. Oh boy....

I reach over, take the badge from her, lean over further into the back seat, desperately waving the badge in the back window to get the guy's attention. I want my sister to be laughing again. I desperately talk the guy as though he can here, "I would put down that phone, really I would". Finally, he looks up and suddenly the mobile is closed. Phew!!!

My sister looks over at me and says, "Impersonating a cop, hey?"

Shit. I look at her and retort, "I was an extension of your arm. Let him try and prove that my arm was not your arm." And we start to laugh.

She says, "Today a mobile, tomorrow a seat belt."

To which I responded, "Tomorrow is 'hands behind your head, and spread those legs'." Laughter is a great healer.