Old Acquaintances -- Did I...?

Perth - Day Something

Many people ask me if my parents were in the army or diplomats because I have moved around so much. Life circumstances have just been reason enough to make our family very mobile -- moving not only suburbs frequently but also continents. As a result I don't have friends that I have grown up with or many friends that I have kept in contact with. I am not sad at this, although I do admire those people that do have deep roots -- only if those deep roots allow growth. I have the privilege of still having a close connection with one terrific person whom I met when I was 18. He may live in Paris, but I feel that he is always there for me as I am for him. Time and place have no barrier for us. What is it about his and my connection that has kept our relationship going for 24 yrs? Why have I not been conntected to the people I was about to meet for the past 24 years?

Today, I met my friends (do you still call them that after 24 years??) on another beautiful day, at a cafe by the beach. Just to set the scene. There were five of us: my mother, my girlfriend's mother who knew my mother well, my girlfriend, a surprise guest who was an old boyfriend of mine, and me.

When my girlfriend popped out of her car I couldn't believe it. She looked nearly the same; flaming, long red hair, alabaster skin. And the same mannerisms. She had wonderful laugh lines around her eyes, but she was still the same, at least on the outside. It was weird temporal shift. Her mother had aged more; more due to health issues. But, hell she hadn't changed personality-wise. She was as feisty as ever.

When my ex-boyfriend arrived he too looked the same -- almost. He had less hair, was toned (ok ripped, as he showed me his nipple ring and I showed him my new belly ring), and still had those baby blue eyes. I would have recognized them all had I passed them in the street. We started chatting as though time had not passed. But then we knew that time was scrunched into a few hours sipping coffee. And I remembered something that I had heard once, "Everything the same; yet everything distinct." Even after all this time, things appeared the same, but things were distinct and so different.

The conversation naturally drifted to the past. When I dated my ex-boyfriend he was 23 yrs old and a journalist for the Western Australian newspaper. We got into concerts with his journalist's pass -- that much I remember. He told me he remembered the suburb where I was renting at the time -- I didn't. He remembered my roommate -- I didn't. Are you getting the pattern? He remembered where we met -- I didn't. Ruh roh... What did I remember? Hell I was a mess of an 18yr old. I was working in a restaurant from 8am to 3pm, back at work at 5pm to 11pm. I was messed up, exhausted, plus I was leaving on a year's trip around Australia. My mind was not retaining information.

Now you get to laugh at me and sympathize with him. As we were traveling down memory lane, well I had gotten to the stile but there was no lane, I turned to him and asked, "Did I sleep with you?"
He looked at me with those baby blues and said, "Um, yes. Why, don't you remember?"
Crap, I thought. I was so sure that I hadn't.... "Just kidding... joking, off course I remember," and nudged him on the arm. Cripey. My girlfriend was splitting her sides laughing. How does one recover gracefully from that? To keep intact one's elegance and his ego? Ah, screw it. There was no hope on that one. I just smiled and then laughed.

Later on I kept trying and trying to remember. Days later still can't remember. Does it matter? It was a great visit with everyone. My ex-boyfriend is happily married and I got to meet his two wonderful little boys. He is very successful and my girlfriend is undergoing IVF in the hopes of getting pregnant. They are both very happy in their lives.

They both owe me one though. My ex-boyfriend is my girlfriend's closest friend and I was responsible for this friendship as I introduced them to each other 24 years ago. So my legacy was not to be their friend for 24 yrs but for them to be friends. What a gift. Who knows what this renewed connection will bring -- something or nothing. Whatever it will be, these old and renewed acquaintances will not be forgotten.